Okay, so it's not quite half full, but it's the best I could find!
Do you class yourself as a glass half-full or a glass half-empty person? Or does it, as in my case, seem to depend on the day?! Well, I’ve been reading a really interesting book called ‘The glass half-full: How optimists get what they want from life and pessimists can too’. It’s by Suzanne C Segerstrom, Professor of Psychology at the University of Kentucky in the USA, and it’s made me think quite differently about optimism.
I already knew that optimism was good for you, that it’s proven to be linked with longer life, better health, better relationships, more success and greater happiness. Bit of a bummer then that I come from a somewhat less than optimistic family! Or is it? What Ms Segerstrom argues is that, regardless of your background and the extent to which you may have ‘inherited’ a glass half-full or glass half-empty approach, you can become more optimistic simply by acting more like optimists do.
So what do optimists do? Well, because they generally have positive expectations of themselves, others and the future, they tend to set goals and show great persistence in pursuing those goals. They don’t give up at the first hurdle. Why not? It seems that, because optimists believe that things will work out well in the long run, they are motivated to keep on trying even when the going gets tough. Of course, because they persevere, they are more likely to succeed and achieve their goals in the end, which then sets up a positive feedback loop. They have succeeded this time, so they are even more optimistic that they will succeed next time. And so on. In addition, by achieving their goals, they often also build their resources – eg. their competence, their relationships, their status, etc – which means that they have more resources at their disposal next time.
In contrast, people with a more pessimistic view of life may never even bother to set themselves any goals – what’s the point? Even if they do, they are more likely to quit as soon as they encounter a setback, on the grounds that they never expected to achieve their goal anyway. This then sets up a negative feedback loop: their failure makes them feel even more pessimistic about themselves and the future, so that they are even less likely to set and achieve goals. And, as a result, less likely to build resources.
Imagine two people embarking on a new fitness regime. They both join the local gym on the January offer, they both want to tone up and lose a bit of weight. The optimist sets herself the goal of running a half-marathon in six months’ time, and is convinced she’ll be in great shape for the summer holidays. She doesn’t particularly enjoy working out, but she goes regularly because she knows she won’t be able to run 13 miles otherwise! She books an appointment with an instructor, who gives her a tailored programme. Even when she has a virus and has to miss a few sessions, she soon gets back into her routine. She decides to raise some money for charity by getting people to sponsor her for the half-marathon, and starts a JustGiving page. She e-mails the link to all her friends and gets loads of support. She also puts it up on the noticeboard at the gym, where she is already starting to make new friends. A few other members decide to join her and do the same.
The pessimist, on the other hand, doesn’t even get to the gym until the end of January. She goes to a spinning class, which she’s never done before – it’s really hard work and she hates it! She doesn’t go again for another week. This time, she tries to use the machines in the gym, but doesn’t ask for any help from an instructor. Because she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she feels embarrassed and gives up after 15 minutes. It’s another two weeks before she ventures to the gym again. What has she been doing in the meantime? Spending her evenings on the sofa watching re-runs of Grand Designs and beating herself up for not going to the gym!
I don’t have to spell it out, you know the story. One person will get her money’s worth from her gym membership, achieve her goal and feel good about herself. She’ll also build her health and relationship resources for the future. The other person … well, she’ll have been to a couple of very expensive classes!
So, to gain the benefits of optimism even if you’re not naturally that way inclined, what you have to do is:
- set yourself some meaningful goals (ones that you are motivated to achieve for yourself, not for anyone else)
- take action towards achieving them
- persevere, even when things go wrong (unless you realise that you are “flogging a dead horse”, in which case optimists are smart enough to move on to another horse goal!)
- in general, focus your time and energy on activities that build your resources rather than ones that don’t – for example, going out with friends builds your relationship resources, whereas watching TV by yourself doesn’t really build any resources!
That’s a very brief overview but it struck a chord with me. If I want to live a long, healthy, happy life, one of the ways I can help myself is by ‘doing’ optimism. Starting right now …
